iris’ blog

What's your favorite TV commercial? 

Submitted by MexicanRobot.

What is my favourite tv commercial?

My favourite tv commercial is me singing Sandi Shaw, well not actually singing, but I was there...dah...for Head and Shoulders, 1967, because Bobby Darin was extremely ill in the hospital in 1970, so I went on Eurovision as several singers for all the countries that didn't have anyone representing them and well, like, all the countries had sent their orchastras to wait for a composer to compose a new song to be released by the conducter and well, like, they didn't have a composer. What a waste!

All they needed to help pay for their traveling expenses and to share a moment in history is a composer. They had the musical talent to do a "take down" meaning they could listen to the notes as composed by the composer and they could translate her notes into written notes for the world band to play in full form.

Bobby didn't want Sandra Dee number two to come into the USA as investigators had confused both Sandra Dee's with Linda Kaspian. Linda Kaspian was a young girl in highschool which meant she may have been under 21 years of age at the time and maybe not. Something about Erin Brocovich looking through school photos in LA to pick out someone that she thought resembled Estelle Parsons. Linda was arrested for the trial but when the trial was over after Linda had been programmed what to say in court well that was when she was to be released and the police whose phone numbers link up to Erin's would arrest Estelle Parsons who would be completely oblivious as to what answers Linda Kaspian had said as her on the stand. Except, Estelle Parsons was in Europe composing songs with the world bands.

Bobby said by telephone, "don't come girl" and Sandi Shaw sung back, "I have a date for eight"and Mary Hopkins sung the "goodbye" song with Paul McCartney. I went back to the USA. Why should I fear if someone was trying to kill me or arrest me? A Christian has no fear of death. Death is not to be dreaded especially if one really wanted to go to Heaven. Everyone avoided death so they couldn't go to Heaven. I wanted to go. The Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 15, I think, that for those who wanted to be future judges over the earth during the thousand year reign that they would get a new body. He explained that there was the phsyical earthly body which humans don but there is also a spiritual body that is prepared for those that will be selected. Not all humans go to the Third or Seventh Heaven...only 144,000 to share in cleaning this earth and in judging those that are resurrected as to worthiness of life during the mega court cases that start back at the Garden of Eden or in this case go from the modern times backwards to the Garden of Eden. some people might have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit to such an extreme that they may never be resurrected.

Bobby was dying. I went back to the USA to LA during the Sharon Tate trials. I was not hiding as some may presume but I was not involved in this play of lies. I went so far as to visit with Linda Kaspian and I told her in court, in front of everyone including Mr. Bugliosi who just happened to come to sit beside me, "tell the truth". If she didn't tell the truth and became part of this "borg" of professional court jesters, than they would own her body and soul. The way I saw it was that she would die either way and it would be better to die telling the truth. Instead she did as she was told and told lies that ended up placing her behind bars for life.

There were no hippies at that breakin. Steve Parent was there to install new surveillance equipment on Estelle Parson's home that Roman and his wife had rented from her just as he had installed surveillance for the Pentagon and The White House and Cher's home and other actors. Mrs. Chapman was hung naked outside within the first ten minutes of the break in as she fought back with hands, feet and teeth, to be dragged out and shot two to six times as she hung in the tree. Mrs. Chapman could barely speak in court as she tried to testify and the rope burns were visible and the bullet wounds if one had checked them out. Mrs. Chapman needed to get the bodies to the hospitals for surgury because Faye Dunnaway was not quite dead and her baby may survive and she did and we gave the baby the name of Sharon Stone Junior. No one wants to hear that story. Why not? Because Linda confessed otherwise so did JW Miss Good and all the other girls. They simply lied, as told, and they would not let go of the lies. Besides lies make good reading material and it puts monies into pockets. Not my pocket but somebodies pocket, n'est-ce pas?

Filling up tv commercials and regular telly Bobby was sure to see Eurovision 1970.

"Who were you routing for?" I asked Bobby over the telephone from Europe to LA.

"The German girl."

"Germany?" I almost vomited. He voted for Agnethea from ABBA.

He really liked, "France Gall."

"Oh...you and your Barbie Doll."

And, I created France Gall just for him and he knew it. Ukk!

What's your favorite flavor of Life Saver?

What is my favourite flavour of Life Saver? No contest...Jesus with the many coloured coat his Father gave him at birth.

These days people are pinching pennies and living frugally, but we want to know: What's the last thing you splurged on?

The last thing that I splurged on is a "freezer" from The Brick just before Christmas. It cost about three hundred dollars. My first major buy in like ten years. And, no one was going to take it away from me. I paid cash. They didn't have the freezer in stock and told me they would call me when it came in. In the meantime, the van broke down. Dennis figures it is going to cost a thousand to two thousand in repairs or he just might buy an old engine from the junkyard.

"You are NOT taking my freezer away from me."

End of story. "That is the really stupid. Where are you going to put it in this small (800 foot apartment). Right there where the telephone is sitting on a Singer sewing machine that I have never used since buying it three years ago from a friend of mine for about fifty dollars. I'll hammer a hole in the wall to hang the telephone.
"Brick. May I help you."

"Ahhhh? I won't be in to pick up my freezer. My car broke down and I need time to save for the delivery charge. How much is it?"

"Sixty-nine dollars."

"Sixty-nine dollars? Leons are selling freezers with no delivery charge."

She didn't budge. "I'll note it in your file. Will pick up when she has enough money for the delivery charge."

I've been sick all day. I don't think I can eat bacon anymore. It is like it is scrapping my intestines and I am in bed (and occasionally on the computer). I have had the runs all day and I want to hurl really, really badly. It is the worse time to get ill. I did research on Lynn Harper. Oh I did it in the late 1980's after Linda Shaw had been brutally burnt to death between Tillsonburg and London, Ontario. My reaction to the Linda Shaw's death was as follows, "what type of person would kill a person on the Sabbath? What type of person would murder a woman on Passover?" And, for whatever reason known to man and God, I thought of trees. I wanted to touch trees because it was suppose to calm something deep inside me. I went and sat on Georgina Jackson's grave and told her all about it. I mean I know she is dead. I mean I was sure that she was in the coffin. Why wouldn't she be in the coffin? Across the 401 highway, perhaps not dead on, is a conservation. Perhaps that is why I wanted to feel the threes. Georgina Jackson's body was found in a conversation area. It rattled me..............................constantly. I would have nightmares about Georgina. 

"How strange?" It was as if I was looking at the one photo of Lynne Harper 1959, 12 years old and it was like I was looking at it for the first time. I wanted to take a closer look, "that isn't a mole on her right cheek is it?"

It surprised me. She looks more like June Virginia Wigle than myself but I was the one given this curly perm that was so curly it caused my hair to stand up like a bush and we had to cut if off as much as we could without actually rendering me bald. So, she reminded me of me and she reminded me of Georgina Jackson and  Georgeas reminded me of Linda Shaw with died blond hair. They have a similair feature around the brow and upper lid. I call it the "white Cherrokee look".

I thought of Melborne Wigle and he had said something, "like they needed a photo so I gave..." It was just a thought for a moment. Myself I remember reading about Lynne Harper. "I don't believe it."

"I don't believe a boy would lure a girl down a country road to her death when he could have just as easily done it right in back of the school."

I had researched the Harper case going out to the field where the chain had dangled. I thought of the Quebec car stopped at the Canadian border for a red sticker. I didn't think of Paul's long vintage car. I didn't remember it in the 80's. I didn't remember the wooden box he had built over the engine as the first time he tried to abduct me my hands and back were burned from the heat and they couldn't chance for the border guards to hear my screams. It was all the way back to Montreal.

I was on Steven Truscott's side. He was a slob. They said so in court. The killer displayed his art by carefully arranging the clothing in a row. Was it a man or a woman? Erin confined me once to the bathroom for not lining up the glasses all in a straight row. I just placed glasses, cups, dishes. "No. No. Everything must be in a line. Everything must be even on top."

I was placed in the bathroom by lock again. "You have to wear slippers. You are not allowed to wear slippers. You are not allowed to go barefoot."

We weren't to share things. Marion use to share all my dishes and clothes. Not anymore. She had the girls line up and had me sit on the floor. They each were given the choise of a kitchen item. Qwen picked a plastic spatula. Marion a spoon and Roberta a larger spoon. Erin picked the fry pan. That was the punishment for using Marion's brush and in addition to it so I wouldn't forget she had Marion pull my arm back.

"Did you hear a bone crack?"

They placed me out into the cold hallway and I caught a cold. Some of the tenants called the police and the owner. "They can't do that to you."
That was when I should have gone back to Ontario. I wasn't allowed to use a phone. Erin had Marion write a letter to an Enedy that I had been dating telling him never to write again. I was not allowed to write letters. They started to tie me up and to leave me for two to three hours while they went from door to door or to work. I was hog tied...I guess they thought I would strangle myself from weak muscles. I had an opportunity to speak to JW elders and was told, "to try harder to get along." I told them about these attacks.

I just didn't remember them in the 1980's. I started asking questions and going to libraries every moment that I could get away in all of Ontario and Quebec. I asked for Prairie librarians to send me "crime files from their old newspaper collection. I stopped when I reached down into the USA and The Green River murders. And burnt everything.

I was on Steven Truscott's side. He had old running shoes that one wears for baceball and for bikes and hikes. The soles of the shoes in the bush were new and never worn. He had a bike that he used to ride around. Nothing special. The tires in the bush were brand stinking new. 

I was going to stop the research today but after a rest I looked up for autopsy photos. Lynne's back had scrapes and small stones wedged in. Her back did not have dirt nor bush vegetation. She had been pulled not onto the sandy dirt road...that too was missing. The school? Perhaps? But why drive all the way here to drop a body off. The stones and lack of dirt and country grit would have placed the murder scene closer to home, closer to a driveway, closer to cement or brick. I couldn't find morgue photos but I saw them once I think in the Steven Truscott book. I was ready to give up when I thought I would watch the video of Lynne Harper's funeral. I wanted to see if any JW's had gone there from Tillsonburg or London as a gesture of kindness. I wondered if Mr. Jackson had belonged once to the same unit living perhaps even on the base. But most of the video showed only backs. The girl in the wheelchair was interesting. I don't know why.

Then, I saw something. A young man escorts the so called Harper family to the side of the funeral to go through a side door.

"Frankie?"

My first reaction was, "is that Frankie Sinatra?" He kept a constant look out like someone was going to jump from bushes. Very few people know that Frank Sinatra Senior had said that he adopted Shirley Jane Temple and called her Tina Sinatra. He had them make up the birthdate as 1923 or 1928. The public demanded Hoover's resignation as they witness brutal attacks on the little actors and it was thought that the tormentors should place an article saying that the child was not four...she was twelve. Well, that didn't go over to well. They aged the person to the age of someone like Rose Kennedy...the age where it is all right for cops, psychiatrists, jurors, janitors and whoever to examine the rectum and vagina of a four year old virgin.

Did someone take me to Lynne Harper's funeral? Was there more footage showing a young 12 year old trying to cheer up the girl in the wheelchair? Something. It made me sick. But I was already sick. Was there this connection between Connally's, the Kennedy's and the Sinatra's on the dna side. Something? Something? Something? Frank had a bedroom for me at his home. I rarely visited but he would say to me, "I expect you for breakfast with Frankie and" the daughter that could do no wrong." I would fly in and compose some songs for each of them like These Boots were made for Walking after a confrontation in a studio with Elvis. "Girl....I know this man and what he knows you haven't had time to learn."

Rattlesnack time! Elvis and I had really public fits of rage with each other with press all around us. "And one more thing Mr. Smarty pants I want to know where you are going at every hour of the day and night. You go out...you CALL THE STUDIO." I had shouted. I thought someone was out to kill Elvis, Bobby Darin and myself. So did his mother. "AND CALL YOUR MOTHER YOU JACKASS!"

Frank Sinatra telephoned me in Canada occassionally to say to me, "I built another Kingdom Hall doll." "When are you coming home."

I wouldn't commit. Finally, he called to ask if I would go with him to the White House for a presentation award. Natalie Wood called me either in Canada or when I reached LA. "Are you crazy? I wouldn't even go with him." No one would it seemed. Was he off of his meds? He noticed a smudge of yellow mustard on my black and white suit. He was furious. And the Whitehouse CIA and FBI watched as he chewed me out one side or the other. "Why couldn't you wear something showing a little breast with a little colour...long and nightlike?"

"Because you said it was an education award."

Later he looked at me and the others like years later and said, "you know what doll you did look right for the night. I can't stand the dress that the Nancy Regan was wearing." It made him feel "respectable". Thus, Natalie Wood was ordered to wear more suits with the buttons up to the chin.

Nancy Regan pulled me to the side and told me personally after listening to Frank Sinatra complain. "I always bring to pieces of clothing."

And Jacqueline Kennedy told me "I always change my undies twice a day, take a shower two to three times and always carry several undies with me when I travel about for a day."

Good advice.

On this day in 1888, Vincent van Gough cut off his left ear. In keeping with that spirit, what's the craziest thing you've ever done?

It is a sin to cut off one's body parts. Why? Because one's body belongs to Christ. Yet Christ said, "it would be better for YOU to cut off your arm or leg and pull out your eye than to go to Gehenna". Jesus emphasized YOU not a judge nor a jury. One would not pull out one's own eye. One would think about it. The eye belonged to Jesus. He purchased it with his life. One would meditate as to how one would improve one's thinking to bring that thinking into line with the thinking of Jesus. If one had a greedy eye one would need to work on that fault. There was nothing wrong with the human eye. Jesus was speaking thus of the spiritual eye but one thing was for sure if one did not correct oneself one would lose all right to life FOREVER in the Lake of Fire.

The arrival of Jesus placed mercy into the law and when the Mosaic law required the removal of a hand because one had become a habitual offender over a long period of time now MERCY stood in place and said, "this means everlasting life their taking in knowledge of You, the only true God, and of the one whom You sent forth Jesus Christ" (John 17:3)

The craziest thing I have ever done is this...I left home to preach the good news in Montreal, Quebec. This is the craziest thing I have ever done...I left home 1950-1953 to attend religious conventions to learn about Christ Jesus and how to preach that good news.

On this day in 1888, Vincent van Gough cut off his left ear. In keeping with that spirit, what's the craziest thing you've ever done?

It is a sin to cut off one's body parts. Why? Because one's body belongs to Christ. Yet Christ said, "it would be better for YOU to cut off your arm or leg and pull out your eye than to go to Gehenna". Jesus emphasized YOU not a judge nor a jury. One would not pull out one's own eye. One would think about it. The eye belonged to Jesus. He purchased it with his life. One would meditate as to how one would improve one's thinking to bring that thinking into line with the thinking of Jesus. If one had a greedy eye one would need to work on that fault. There was nothing wrong with the human eye. Jesus was speaking thus of the spiritual eye but one thing was for sure if one did not correct oneself one would lose all right to life FOREVER in the Lake of Fire.

The arrival of Jesus placed mercy into the law and when the Mosaic law required the removal of a hand because one had become a habitual offender over a long period of time now MERCY stood in place and said, "this means everlasting life their taking in knowledge of You, the only true God, and of the one whom You sent forth Jesus Christ" (John 17:3)

The craziest thing I have ever done is this...I left home to preach the good news in Montreal, Quebec. This is the craziest thing I have ever done...I left home 1950-1953 to attend religious conventions to learn about Christ Jesus and how to preach that good news.

What would I change my name to?
That is a tough question...what would I change my name to and why? I like my name. Iris is so fluctual. Iris means the eye, whether that of man or a God, Iris means rainbow made up of many colours. Why would I want one colour in my world, thus, Leann Rimes sings, "I colour my man" in reference to Bobby Darin who had Jewish American Indian aboriginal dna. Iris goes with "rainbow warriors" from Cherokee Amazing Grace because after Armagedon there will not be just one colour race...there will be survivors made up of many colours.
Dances with Wolves suits me because I play with sheep in wolf clothing.
"Dances with Wolve is approaching the Third Heaven sir, you still have time to leave."
It is said that Jesus will give a pebble to the 144,000 and on it will be a new name ( Revelation 2:17.

"Let the one who has an ear hear what the spirt says to the congregations. To him that conquers I will give some of the hidden manna and I will give him a white pebble, and upon the pebble a new name written which no one knows except the one receiving it

Manna is life sustaining when there is no other food. Feeding on Heavenly manna would give life to the receiver during the forty year trek. The white pebble? In ancient Israel a pebble or stone was used in law to cast life or death or approval or disapproval. The prophecy says a name is written so if the name was Iris and Iris was to cast the pebble would there be a downside. One side is yes and one side is no. Or is it this pebble belongs to Iris, the messenger of the Gods who is exempt from punishment as she has impunity eternally?

What would Jesus see in me right now that he would personally select as my eternal name mapped out by my life course?
"Aimlessly running around as a camel."
"Dances with Wolves"
"Dinah....the inexperience dove."
"Abishag...beaten and running"
"Jehovah is her arm and Salvation."
"Daughter of the Romans"
"Daughter of Egypt"
"Daughter of Israel"
"Daughter of the UK"
"She who leaves it all behind for something greater"
"She who places her throne before Christ Jesus"
"She who is well known and earthly"
"She who loves mankind"
"She who sacrificed herself for others"
"She who has given food to the world"
"She who is disinherited by the world"
"Endurance"?
"Patience"?
"Faithful"? to the end
Jesus KNOWS her personality. What would he place on a pebble if I endured to the end? What name did I make for myself?
"She who stood alone"
"The quiet one"

 I like "the quiet one" . The one who reserves judgment until there is no other course but to speak up. Does it work with "couageous"?
If the public was to pick the well carved image would it be Dances With Wolves?
That might not be the last name. Can I make a better name? I read on a site once while surfing that an aboriginal did not know his name. He couldn't decide and it frustrated him and left him in a depressed state. And, I wrote back that his name was "indecisive". He may  not have liked the name but that was his name as of that date.

Right now ...my name is "tired one". I have no energy for anything. I have no feelings for anything.

What if we projected things into the future? Dances with Wolves is Dancing with a new crowd of angels? She died and escaped to the Third Heaven where she may be selected as a future judge over the earth? What can we expect from her?
"She who is kind? merciful? wise? judicial righteous?"
She is called upon to determine if Al Pacino should be resurrected. What is she to say? Al Pacino said he would have to kill her if she said his name outloud. Would she render a righteous verdict or bow out?
Would she be, "I call it as I see it".
Yet, it is really  hard to send Al completely to non existence. Why is that? Because he bragged to all his friends that he stoled all of Estelle Parsons earnings under a phoney marriage licence. And what did he do with those earnings that he knew about? "I gave it all away...to charities."

Al Pacino may be the only outlaw that actually helped the down trodden and ill. So what do we do to him?
And he did it to such a magnificent level!!!

Live or Die which way will the pebble be thrown?

"the erroneous one"??? Yet, Jesus washes a person until the erroneous becomes perfect.

"Hard as nails"? "Sharon Stone hard"?
"The Stone has decided to join us after all I see"
"Unmovable, unflinching"?
"The unbending"...how is that written in Hebrew. She who sees the difference between rape and prostitution and will not yield to scam artists nor rapists. Is it a well deserved title? I think so.

Is The Wall similiar to The Fist?

"I cannot let you pass by me (Mr.Rapists? Mr. Greed?), "I was taught to protect at all costs (whether they deserve it or not)?
"She who yields to the decisions of The Creator"
Protect at all costs becomes iffy when the LORD decrees otherwise.
"Protecter of sheep"?
"Carrier of a secret" That fits just as well as Dances with Wolves so we have two names that come to the fore with "unflinching".
She must get rid of the secrets and lies and what is left?
All the masks are off and what is left?
"Unbendable" bending slightly to the left and right.
"She who sits on a fence" neither with the left  nor the right. Will she lose the name of Iris...messenger of  both sides?
"She who feeds only at the table of Jehovah"
"Abishag...the song of a FATHER?"
Too negative. Abishag was beaten, left naked, devastated, and sent running into the wilderness after the loss of her first husband.
"Survivor"
What would Jesus pick as the name of all names for both sides of the pebble?

Who would you hope to never face in a political debate?

Jesus

How do you know when a relationship has run its course and it's time to call it quits?

How does one know when a relationship has run its course and it is time to call it quit? When they nail you on a cross.

What is your theme song?
Submitted by Spanglish

What is my theme song? It was billed in 1957 by a studio director as "all little good girls want to go to Heaven." And, I thought that it was true. Most of my stories always ended with me dying like in Love Story, or my true love dies on me and I live each day after washing dishes and thinking what it might have been like to have things work out differently as in Anne Shirley or like Beatrix Potter who is more like my real personality than persona's who loses her manager boyfriend type person but it is okay she finds someone else that doesn't move the earth under her feet and he loves animals and can know them well enough to pick out their individual personalities. I had composed Kingdom Melodie Songs for the JW songbook. Can't remember how many...was it about seventeen? But, singing to Bobby Darin out numbers the Holy Book. I never gave it much thought before. What is my theme song?

"Singing to dead Bobby Darin."

How does Jesus weigh it all? Does Solomon kill Bobby and Sandy in the end? Or does he just embarrass the hell out of them by composing his own song inserting even the words that the lovers spoke to each other and the "one hand under her head and the other ...?...." Solomon did not say where the other hand was at did he? Well, it wasn't his hand. However, Solomon is the judge and the King and for what ever reason decided along the line that his step mom the Shulamite belonged in his bed and he had, he thought, a very good case of adultery against her. But, would he have murdered her husband just to keep control over her? What difference does it make three thousand years later?

Solomon composed over five thousand songs or poems so it is said. Where are they? I have an idea of where his first wife the Egyptian daughter of Pharoah may have hidden them. It is wise to keep quiet. I don't get it. Jews decide who is an Israelite, not by the father, but by the mother. If the mother is a Jew then the kids are Jews. Is that the same for the children of the legal will of Solomon. His first wife, and most important wife, was Egyptian, thus, his kids were not considered Jews legally. Hmmm?

In Sphere with Dustin Hoffman I played with the idea of having an angel from Solomon be the alien.

"I don't believe you are an alien. This is just an Obeonecanobe thing. And angels Sir, are not round shiny balls of liquid air bubbles made up of helium and organic matter."

The rule is that one should never approach an angel without permission. Very tricky. Remember the Burning Bush of Moses? Take off the shoes when approaching and have clean feet. But a woman...very tricky indeed.

"Beth you went into the Sphere."

Beth did NOT go in nor near the Sphere. Angels do not present themselves so readily to mankind.

"The plane went down in 1943." In a storm, one might add. Jehovah must have manoeuvered it. But why? Why would Jehovah destroy humans in a storm just to fall a plane?

"It might have been carrying something or someone very important," concludes Beth outloud in front of NASA spy equipment hidden in the panels and along the routes.

"Solomon?"

"Solomon is not important enough." And, Solomon was "out of sorts" with the Lord of Hosts not for marrying so many women but for becoming involved with pagan practices which may or may not have included child sacrifice of passing through the said child through a fire to be sold at auction. Solomon may have been purchasing female children illegally in the eyes of the LORD?

"Prophet?" But which prophet. There were so many, Zechariah, Malachi, Nahum, Zephaniah, Hosea, Amos, daniel, Joel, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Habakuk, Haggai, Jerimiah, Isaiah, Elishah, the Apostles, ELIJAH, EZEKIEL AND  M O S E S.

"MOSES?"

Beth falls down on both knees and crosses herself and bows her head. Did scientists find the bones of Ezekiel? One would not want to test out Jehovah in such a way. Why? Because Ezekiel visited the Third Heaven in a mega way...strange things happened with Ezekiel would they? The bones of Elijah, it is said, brought a man back to life when his body had been thrown on top of the dead skinless bones. One would not want to triffle needlessly with Elijah unless it was to rebury his body where no one could ever presume to find it?

"God would not want man to have the body or belongings of Moses...???"

So...???...maybe the body of Solomon and Pharoah are with the five thousand poems....I could just run in and run out...whose to know...not withstanding that I don't even know where they are hidden away like manna for future reference???

Women...it's very tricky. Must I remind you that I am not a menstruating woman anymore? I am just an old woman dying possibly from scleroderma? I have no energy to walk across the street nor the desire.

"Good guardian angel or evil?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, good angel might want to be released from duty and return to the Seventh Heaven. Evil angel might not be allowed to leave. I mean if Jehovah wanted a good angel released from the clutches of Satan...it would just happen...HE would not need a woman nor a man to do the job...not imperfect humans and an evil angel...maybe he is where he should be right?"

"Best leave things alone Beth."

Beth did not go into the Sphere.

"Beth it is your imagination that is creating these things...you went into the Sphere Beth!"

Did Beth go into the Sphere? She ran backwards and held out her hand and was pulled from an upper floor into the Sphere. Why? Because Bobby Darin had manifested himself.

"Bobby!!!"

She took a step forward, froze, gasped, reached back with her hand and was pulled back into the Sphere and went into a deep sleep and reawoked back up in a hallway in front of Queen Lafahah's door where she had orginally fallen asleep. It was just a nightmare that she went to look at the Sphere. Her body did not leave the door nor hallway.

Beth did not go into the Sphere. Nightmares don't count. But, do they? If a human visits the Third Heaven in a dream without a body does it count.

Beth went into the Sphere.

What is my theme song? I don't know. I assumed it was always to go to Heaven to be with Jehovah.

1950-1953

Shirley Jane Temple was arrested, arrested, arrested, arrested dozens of times for three years in a bid for control over her parents, adopted parents, adopted parents, adopted parents, dozens of adopted parents most dying and most disappearing and she escapes.

The door was left open slightly and she runs but returns to get a ?barette. It is just a small human thing. It is made of plastic and metal. It is not even an important thing. It is just a human thing. And, the jail door shuts behind her.

Did Jehovah destroy all the half human and half angels in the flood? Are they a race also?

What is MY theme song?

I really and honestly don't know. I woke this morning feeling like Ashley Judd and Ashley was more cop than nun and a very angry cop type person  So many characters to write about...so many stories to tell...most of them not even completely truthful. If Bobby was alive would I want to stay on the earth? But Bobby isn't alive nor is the Jean Seberg baby that died before nine months in the womb from a bullet shot. Did JW elders go to all the cemetaries to block the burial of a so called black baby? The Jean Seberg baby was not black. She was a white baby that never will be resurrected, or so it is said of unborn babies. They never did get to breathe in the breath of life and don't qualify to be resurrected.

A barrett? My theme song may be "going back for the barrett". But, I have not composed it as of yet. It is said of the nuns, priests, parsons, ministers, that make up the 144,000 in the last two thousand years, that they have each a "song" to sing.

"and those who come off victorious from th wild beast and from its image and from the number of its name standing by the glassy sea, having harps of God, and they are singing the song of Moses, the slave of God and the song of the Lamb, saying, "Gereat and wonderful are your works, Jehovah God, the Almight. Righteous and true are your ways, King of eternit. Who will not really fear you, Jehovah, and glorify your name, because you alone are loyal? For A L L the nations will come and worship before you, because of your RIGHTEOUS decrees have been made manifest." Revelation 15: 2-4

"And they sing a new song," about the worthiness of Christ Jesus because he is righteous and he has "bought" persons for god out of EVERY tibe and tongue and people and nation," to serve as righteous good kind judges when the resurrection takes place. Slave owners beware! These ones will be made powerful and will execute the ungodly in the future from every corner of the earth until all humans qualify to approach Jehovah directly and speak to HIM without Jesus. Why would people think that they could be slave owners? Even Jesus gives up being in control of the congregtions and bows to the will of Jehovah when all mankind are adopted as Jehovah's sons and daughters. ...the sonship that Adam lost. Revelation 5: 9-10

"I heardwas as of singers who acompany themselves on the harp playing on their haprs. and they are singing as if a new song before the throne and before the the four living creatures an dthe elders and no one was able to master that song but the hundred and forty-four thousand, who have been bought from th earth." Revelation 14:3-4

I have not mastered my song as of yet. I played it once on a lie detector test like a harp after everyone had left the room after I had passed a lie detector test in LA or NY 100%. The song started off slowly and just a little higher than the average child, it skipped along with highs and lows, fears and loves, beatings and kindnesses, it falls deeply into depression from beatings through 1966-1968 from Canada to the USA and UK. It spikes to an extreme high in 1969 under the assumed names of Sharon Tate 2 and Sharon Tandy and falls almost completely with the same breathe down an equal spike to virtually non existence, followed by a long thread of small almost unseen bumps and flows for the longest time like almost forty years and I stopped. I was in shock. That was my song? Just a long tread at the end? But does the end of the thread end in an up or a down? It is a Jewish thing to end a song up. UP as in God's approval. Is being just a simple person all that bad? Why should one person be responsible for the blind and the starving? It hasn't been that bad. I have concentrated on the Bible and the ministry to whatever extent I could do so. Iris Alona Wigle-Cutforth can be described as a very simple, unassuming, boring religious type person that can't sing, nor write. She is very quiet and very few people can find fault with her. They don't actually speak with Iris A. Wigle-Cutforth. People see her.

John Howard Douglas may have an entirely different outlook on her. Micahel Douglas might see her quite different from Howard and George Clooney and Russel Crowe. Sean Connery sees Iris as Iris playing Sharon playing whatever but to Sean Iris is Iris with a lot of alias names. Sean Connery would look at the photos of Kate Nash and see nothing wrong with her dresses and poses. Stephen Connery would laugh. He would find the photos funny. Sandra Bullock would laugh. Catherine Zeta Jones would be upset and remark something like, "look at her hair." So would Natalie Wood. It is a psychological trap separating groups of people and exposing their inner most feelings towards those whom they have deemed as unimportant. Estelle Parsons was considered the most unimportant person in Hollywood and she enjoyed the position.

What is my theme song? It doesn't look good.

Last night at our JW Bible book study, Live with Jehovah's Day in Mind, Chapter four, page 17, we studied about Hosea and how Jehovah God told this prophet to go and take back his wife Gomer and forgive her for her lovers and he does. Jehovah now uses that simple scene in His theatre to show that He too is in love with His wife Israel and even though she ran after other gods and lovers He wants to take her back gently because He can see that she ran away from inexperience. She thought, like Gomer, that these people giving her gifts and paying attention to her really didn't love her at all and she learned this in the end and came to appreciate her husband's love even if he didn't have anything to give to her in his hand. I feel like that except no one in Hollywood gave me a gift. Well, once, someone gave me a bunch of roses after an Oscar Award night thingy and I left them by the hospital bed of Al Pacino except Al said later that there was a poisonous snake in the flowers and he shot the snake. But, outside of that. No one gave me gifts. No one said thank you for neither scripts, nor songs. An Oscar doesn't count. Why is that? Does rumour have it that some actors receiving an Oscar are later beaten on said night and fingers go out in hat pins and lipstick tubes? Now to be fair I must add that there is more than one Oscar night. Fans think it is just one main event but there are two to four nights and is the first night the deadliest of all which might not have anything to do with talent scouts and scam artists?

Truth be told I have not received gifts from Hollywood. JW's have given me marriage gifts, baby showers and have taken me free of charge in their cars to tour the neighbourhoods looking for Bible studies and to me that is the best gift of all. Roy Onnicaut of London, Ontario, gave me kindness as a gift. Marion McKinnon Tricker's daughter told me that her mother had poured five vials of mercury in a drink and I had the worst headache immaginable and couldn't even remember things. I was nounless and during my ten years of an upward battle to remember nouns a long the way Roy would see me come into a Kingdom Hall and offer to find a seat for me. And, if he saw that I had forgotten my song book, Watchtower or Bible he was always sure to make sure that I had one. It is hard to organize and speak through a blur isn't it? I can't find a Roy personality for you. He is a little like Anne Shirley's Mr. Cutworth but Roy isn't shy like him. Roy is very dry and quiet with a very pleasant simple wife who would have loved the photos of Kate Bush. She would have chereished a hug. Friends like these are nice gifts from a loving Creator.

What is my theme song? I zig zag a lot like the nation of Israel I think whom Jehovah Himself describes as a "shameless camel"

""A swift young she camel aimlessly running to and fro in her ways." Jeremiah 2:23

The Apostle Paul warns, "You cannot be drinking the cup of Jehovah and the cup of demons' you cannot be partaking of the table of Jehovah and the table of deoms. Or are we inciting Jehovah to jealousy? We are not stronger than He is, are we? ...I say that the things which the nations sacrifice they sacrifice to demons and not to God and I don not want you to become shares with the demons." 1 Coronithians 1:21-22, 20

Was the arrival of the buffalo in Dances with Wolves from demons or Jehovah?

I am not sure except that it wasn't in church. Reading the Bible makes me feel good about myself. Hollywood gives me a headache and heartache and has only added to my baggage of tears.

Goldie Hawn switches to the personality of LeAnn Rimes and does the giving my heart to Jesus thing by singing Amazing Grace in a local church and on her arm is the brand of Lizard King. Well, she was in the middle of a movie with a JW elder and Susan and he whispers to another JW on the set, "We should invite her to a Kingdom Hall." Did you see the movie? Dah?

We touch things without thinking and go with the flow of things without thinking. I think when I am in Hollywood and I have to say I am more like the anger of Ashly Judd and June Wigle. Hollywood brings out the worst in me. It reminds me of the lost...the tremendous loss and it is like I am saying right back to Jehovah, "you weren't there for me. What horrible thing did I do to YOU in 1966 - 1967 that YOU would not have had a hedge around me?" Jehovah promised to place hedge around her servants? Why was there no hedge around me? I just wanted to preach and had not even gone to Hollywood to sing my songs. I just wanted to feed the starving. I didn't do anything to Jehovah nor to anyone else. I was faultless in 1966-1967. I wanted to be a missionary telling the good news in Montreal and He did not do the hedge thing. And, I remember it everytime I go to Hollywood.

"Now You have reason to hate me. Now You have reason not to put a hedge around me. Now I have a reason to repent and now I can say I am sorry for whatever it is that You thought I was not good enough to have a hedge around me!"

Hollywood is daytripping to nightmares.

If you could dream about anything tonight, what would it be?

If I could dream about something it would be to build several dams on one solid base in front of the Hoover Dam. I have sketched several ideas of how I would like the dam to be built downstream, perhaps a mile or two from the Hoover. I dream about the mountain range and in my mind I wonder if we could not just use one of the mountain sides to construct several small dams reusing the same water and time frame. I dream about dams. I dream about floods. I dream about several tons of mud descending down from Heaven to LA.

Perhaps I dream about dams and bridges because they have no feelings. They can't hurt like a man and woman. I dream about trees and bushes, birds and buffalo. I like to touch things like wheat. When I go walking down on Bloor Street here in Toronto I touch the boughs of the trees and hedges as I walk. I long for the bush. I long for isolation. I long for a peaceful place to rest my weary bones.

I have horrible nightmares. My daughter said it comes from watching to much television. Perhaps? Did you ever watch the Youtube video Twighlight Trailer Spoof. In my nightmares it was made around 1966-1968 after the Marnie movie. In my nightmares that is me hamming it up with friends as Frida playing with a handful of JW friends when a stalker dons a car, races towards me and slams the car sideways into the red truck. In my nightmare my legs are severely bruised as the car bounces off the fender and mirror and tail. In my nightmare I ask myself, "Is that you Stephen Connery driving that car?"

In my nightmare the young JW man that is playing the would be wooer is going with the flow of things and just before the accident his mind is on the girl that passes and on his notes and he is wanting to do the director script writer thing. He didn't see the accident. He thought that I was just playing and he was to pick up the next line for the next scene. It was only after I didn't get up to follow him that he came back only to realize that I couldn't lift myself up from the waist down. I couldn't feel anything. I asked him to lift my legs and to bend them individually with no response. I asked him to turn me over and bend by knees. Nothing. They carried me back into the house and in my nightmare I had pointed to a spot on the floor near an outlet.

"Could you take off my socks and shoes?" and "Could I have a drink of water?" and "Could you get be a blanket and pillow?" In my nightmare I removed the front of the outlet exposing the electrical wires, lifted by foot awkwardly with my hands and shoved my toe into the socket to electricute myself. It took several hours for feelings to return and it felt like days and weeks. In my nightmare no one seemed to miss me. I was all over the place travelling here and there with a phone call occassionally to Elsie Wigle or William Holden or a studio or the Kennedys. I would go home bruised and batter with a bullet still to remove or a knife wound burn from a cigar. And, Elsie DoLittle would say, "don't you think it is time to get up and look for a real job?" I would just look at the large Jesus picture that she had placed on the night table in the spare room. "You and me kid!" It is a life time committment.

My favourite story in the Bible is only one line or two in the New Testament. It reads something like this, "and a man had a leper wife and he refused to leave her side." That was all it said. But, in my imagination I could picture this couple. Can you? Can you see this Jew giving up his right to go to visit Jehovah in the Temple? Can you see him watch sadly as every man and woman on the planet would go with a gift offering to cover their sins and to say their prayers for favour on Passover night? Can you see him outside of Jerusalem sitting with all the other lepers that had been banned from the markets? Can you see his house accumulating cobwebs? "Why didn't he just marry another woman Jehovah?" He could have married dozens of girls younger and more beautiful than his leper wife who may have lost a nose, an ear, a finger, an arm, a toe. They would not have even had sex together. Why? Because he loved her that much. Why would we think that Jesus would not love his brideclass, nun or not, lesser than a human?

In my nightmare I am standing in the Audrey Hepburn home that she had purchased from William Holden on April 01, 1969. William Holden is listening to the vows of his adopted daughter Virginia from 1950 a position claimed by Frank Sinatra and Randolph Scott number one, two and three. The vow is said and a young man does the vow thing. "Is there anyone here that thinks these two should not be lawfully joined together?" Was it Stephen Connery that told the bride all the reasons that he didn't want to be married to her? Did Erin Brocovich jump out from another room as an univited guest to shout, "April Fool's Day!!!"

In my nightmare I turn to William Holden and he shows that he still had his gun in his belt. I lowered my head to hide my feelings and to compose myself securely. "I don't know what to say? I have never been to an April Fool's wedding before. Are we going to have a party now? Can I change my clothes?"

I turned to leave and briefly in my nightmare I placed a hand on the Rabbi, "It isn't your fault Padre." I handed the Rabbi the wedding ring. No one had signed any marriage license least of all the Rabbi and the marriage witnesses, bride nor groom. I left to change. I left to hide myself in a closet.

How does one inherit as a husband with no marriage certificate on April Fool's Day?

I am greatly indebted to the Lord Jesus...over and over again. Why would I want to stay on this earth?